


Mutual Pining and Hair Dye

by catboyzeph



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, AtsuHina Week, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, what is love baby dont hurt me no more
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:42:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24610957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catboyzeph/pseuds/catboyzeph
Summary: Love is scary. Especially if you can't figure out whether the person you're in love with like you back.In other words, Atsumu and Shoyo are both hopelessly in love with each other and both are none the wiser about the other's feelings.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu
Comments: 3
Kudos: 83





	Mutual Pining and Hair Dye

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! This is for AtsuHina Week, the theme was Mutual Pining, hope you enjoy!

How do you unlove someone? Atsumu wondered. How do you erase the ache that comes from your heart at the mere thought of them? How can Atsumu stop his heart from beating a little faster at the sight of hair the colour of tangerines, a victory laugh like loud bells and the sound of shoes hitting the floor?

How does he unlove Hinata Shoyo?

Being in love sucked ass. Love was scary, it was unpredictable and Atsumu didn’t trust it one bit. It was volatile, unstable. Emotions could change at any second. You could be in love with someone one week, and hate them the next. Things could feel like a bed of roses on one end, and a cage of thorns on the other end. 

Atsumu knew this firsthand, felt the thorniness and volatility of love firsthand when Kita-san, funny how Shinsuke-kun turned into Kita-san, had told him that he “just wasn’t in love with him anymore”. It wasn’t like he could blame Kita, he didn’t have to stay in a relationship with someone he was no longer had feelings for.

But still, he had sworn to himself after that, he wouldn’t fall in love first, he wouldn’t let himself be the weaker one, he would wait for someone else to love him first, to know that they wanted him first before he let himself be vulnerable.

So, of course, he had been pissed with himself when he realised that his stupid volatile heart had gone and made him fall in love with Hinata Shoyo.

He met Shoyo, in high school, when he was still dating Kita, the shorter boy-at-the-time had come up to Atsumu and told him that he liked his bleached hair and asked for tips in dyeing his own hair. The two had been hair dyeing buddies and friends since. It wasn’t hard to fall in love with Shoyo after Atsumu had gotten over Kita, the man was like sunshine personified. 

He was outgoing, kind, always had a smile on his face, would help anyone out if need be, never asking anything in return. He also worked hard for his goals, constantly talking, taking in information and learning. He was oh so different from Kita, the two were like night and day, yet both were men that Atsumu had fallen in love with.

With a growl of frustration, Atsumu angrily threw his pillow at the wall, the pillow hitting the wall with a thump.

The door to his room creaked open, “Atsumu-kun you okay? I’ve been hearing some very angry noises from the living room.” Atsumu snorted, lips curving up into a smug grin at his roommate, “how very kind of you to be concerned, but I’m fine.”

“Okay, if you say so, I’ll leave you to it,” the younger man bent down, picking up Atsumu’s discarded pillow, tossing it back in his direction.

“Thanks, Shoyo-kun.” The man he was in love with gave him a cheery smile, the features and lines of his body lit up dimly in orange from the shitty lone lamp that Atsumu bought from Ikea two years ago for ten dollars. “No problem!” He chirped before leaving. Atsumu’s eyes followed him discretely as he closed the door behind him, eyes flicking from his toned arms to his hair, half his natural colour and half black, a result of watching Tik Tok stars dyeing half of their hair.

His roots were growing out, Atsumu noted to himself softly.

That’s right. Being the idiot that he was, Atsumu had decided it would be a fine idea to move in and become roommates with Shoyo when he told Atsumu about how the rent was too high for him to handle alone eight months ago. 

Atsumu sat in silence for a moment, trying to still his traitorous heart, beating in his heart like a signal.

_ Love me back! _ It cried for Shoyo.  _ Why can’t you see that I’ve loved you for the past two years? _

It was a lazy Sunday when Aran came over. The two were sprawled out on the couch, legs tangled, couch far too small for the both of them. Shoyo was out, with his friend from high school, Yachi, although Atsumu expected that Yachi and Shoyo were way more than ‘just’ friends. They looked good together he supposed, Yachi was nice, and she was pretty and petite, she looked good next to Shoyo’s stocky build.

“So any luck with the shorty?” Aran asked, “well if you must know-”

“Wait before you start, have these tissue papers, I love you but the last time you cried into my shoulder you left snot all over me.”

“Aran why do you hate me so?”

“I had to throw away my shirt! Is your snot made of superglue?”

Atsumu let out a huff before stretching out his arm and grabbing the box of tissue paper Aran was holding out to him. Aran nodded along, giving advice when necessary. And when Atsumu was finished, Aran said the same thing he always did.

“I simply think that you’re both idiots and that you’re in love with each other.”

And as Atsumu always did, he shook his head with a soft smile, “Sho-chan doesn’t see me that way.”

Shoyo can’t quite pinpoint the exact moment he fell in love with Atsumu. Or perhaps he could. He wasn’t sure really. But he had always found Atsumu attractive, not just in terms of looks. Atsumu was funny, kind of an asshole, but he had a fire in him, a determination to succeed in everything that he did. But Shoyo had kept his distance, respectful that Atsumu was taken and dating his senior, Kita.

They were nothing for than friends who dyed their hair together.

Then Kita left Atsumu. 

Shoyo couldn’t fathom Kita’s reasoning, not in love with Atsumu? How could you not love Miya Atsumu? Or maybe he was biased since he loved Miya Atsumu. It hurt to see his friend cry, cry over someone who didn’t appreciate that Atsumu had gold in his veins and the stars in his eyes. When his friend was in such pain, the fact that he was single now was the last thing on his mind.

But when was the exact moment his feelings turned from friendly admiration into something more? When did “Wow Atsumu you’re really good with hair!” turn into “Wow we’re in a bathroom alone together he is dyeing my hair and we are both shirtless wait we are both shirtless oh shit oh shit oh shit maybe I like him-”

Then he had felt like shit. It had only been four months after Kita and Atsumu had broken up after all, how could he even think of taking advantage of Atsumu’s broken heart that way? So he pulled away, gave him space, Shoyo could wait.

But it didn’t mean that he liked waiting.

Asking him to be his roommate was a really bad idea too. Sharing an apartment meant seeing the little things, like the way Atsumu always left his keys on the countertop in the exact same spot, so much so that there were little scratches on that spot from how he carelessly dropped them down. Little things that felt like he was so close yet so far away, like when he had tossed Atsumu’s pillow back to him, the blonde hallowed in the orange light of that shitty Ikea lamp.

So now he was at Hitoka’s apartment. On the couch. Hugging a pillow. Kind of crying.

“How do I know if there’s space in his heart?” He whispered softly. He wondered whether there was room for him, in Atsumu’s heart, wondered whether he was enough to patch up and mend the wound Kita had left when Atsumu was young and nineteen, fragile and desperately clinging to the memories of a high school sweetheart.

Hitoka looked at him with a sad smile, “I don’t know, but it’s been about three years Shoyo. And I think that you give yourself a lot less credit than you’re worth, have a little hope. And if it doesn’t work out then it doesn’t. Love is unpredictable, all you can do is hope Sho.” 

Shoyo looked up at the ceiling, breath coming out long and slow, “hope is scary.” 

Movie nights were something unspoken between Shoyo and Atsumu. They made it a point to have a movie night at least once every two weeks, no exceptions. Huddled under a blanket together on their too-small couch before going to sleep in their separate rooms when the movie was over was routine, familiar. Atsumu enjoyed the routine of it, enjoyed being pressed up against Shoyo. 

It made his heart hammer and ache and crave and scream for more, but Atsumu relished every second he could squeeze up to Shoyo without having to explain why he was making such intimate contact. But he supposed all good things came to an end. 

The credits rolled.

There was always a pause, a moment of fragile silence, both unsure of who should move away first. Cuddling through the night under a blanket on a too-small couch wasn’t something just friends did after all. Sometimes it was Atsumu who moved away first, sometimes it was Shoyo. Today it seemed like Shoyo wasn’t going to move. The man was pressed tight against Atsumu, slightly tense. Well, they had just watched a horror movie, after all, Shoyo was terrified of horror movies, Shoyo moved a little closer, legs brushing against-

Atsumu stood up abruptly, he had to put space between them- he couldn’t- no- he-

“Atsumu-kun will you help me dye my hair?” Shoyo asked softly, “the roots are growing out.” Atsumu swallowed, nodding. “Yeah. Sure.” 

It was routine. They were always shirtless when dyeing each other’s hair, so why did this feel so different? Shoyo kept shooting him looks in the mirror, smiling mischievously in the way that made Atsumu’s heart go hundreds of miles an hour. This felt dangerous.

“Atsumu-kun, what are your thoughts on love?” Shoyo asked, peering at him. 

Ah, shit what kind of question was this?

Atsumu swallowed, “love is unpredictable. It’s volatile. And the last time I tried it, it blew up in my face.” Shoyo went silent. “But what about now? Don’t you want to try?” Shoyo asked softly, words uttered like a prayer.

“The person I’m in love with will never see me that way.”

“Well we’re in the same boat I guess,” Shoyo responded, tense. Atsumu felt like his heart had been ripped to pieces all over again. Of course, Shoyo was in love with someone else. Of course, he was. Why did Atsumu ever think love was going to work out for him?

Shoyo wanted to scream.

_ How long? _ He wanted to ask.  _ How long have you had space in your heart for someone else? And could it ever have been me? Did I ever stand a chance? If I had been faster if I had taken my chance, could it have been me I need to get out why did I think this was going to work- _

“Shoyo?”

Oh.

He was crying. 

“Sho!” Atsumu knelt down, holding his face, “what’s wrong was it something I said was it-”

“It’s you! You fucking idiot I’ve been in love with you since we were teenagers!” Shoyo screamed out, tears turning into angry sobs. “How fucking long have you had space in your heart to love someone else? Why couldn’t it be me fuck fuck-”

Fuck.

He looked up at Atsumu, tears blurring his vision. “Atsumu I’m sorry I- shit- it’s okay you don’t have to say anything-”

“It’s you,” Atsumu voice is soft. Shoyo feels like his heart is about to hammer out of his chest. “I’ve been in love with you for the past two years Shoyo.”

“What?”

“Yer stupid fucking idiot.” Atsumu was laughing now, “I’m a stupid fucking idiot too, Aran told me and I didn’t believe him-” Shoyo laughed, as Atsumu pulled him into him for a hug, there wasn’t any awkwardness, he was Atsumu, his best friend, the idiot he’d been in love with for years.

“Wait the dye! It’ll stain your-”

“Sho I just found out my feelings are mutual, I don’t give a shit about the dye staining my skin.”

The idiot _ who liked him back. _

“Hitoka said that I should have hope-”

“Wait what about her! I thought you two were dating!” Atsumu pulled back, snapping his fingers, looking into Shoyo’s eyes. There was a pause. “Me? And Hitoka?” Shoyo repeats, dumbstruck. “Yeah I mean you’re always going to fancy cafes with her, going to her house-”

“Atsumu. Hitoka’s a lesbian.”

“What?”

“She’s a lesbian! She doesn’t like men!” Hinata laughed, throwing his head back, “she’s dating Kiyoko-san! The other manager of the volleyball team from our high school!”

“Oh my god,” Atsumu gaped, “I’m an idiot, I’m a complete fucking-”

Shoyo cuts him off with a kiss.

So how do you unlove someone? Shoyo wondered. How do you stop the breathless gasp that escapes your lips at the sound of a rough accent? How can Shoyo stop his heart from pounding like a Warhammer at this sight of bleached blond hair, the familiar weight of an arm resting on his shoulder and how intimate Atsumu dyeing his hair feels?

How does he unlove Miya Atsumu?

As they pull away, gasping for breath, and as Shoyo pulls him back down for another kiss, black dye staining the pristine blonde of his lover’s hair – which Shoyo knows is going to take a round of bleaching to get out, he hopes that he never has to find the answer to that question. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it!! If you liked this, you can find me on Twitter [here](https://twitter.com/razorkisser)


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